As heard on Live 101.5 FM in Tulsa, OK!
Rice Rockets
What is it with these people that drive "rice rockets"? Who do they think they are fooling? Do they really think that their aftermarket muffler makes people think that their car is faster than the average Honda Civic? These things sound more like a low-flying Cessna than a fast car. Why not spend your extra thousands on a car that has a few more cylinders?
And another thing, all these extra parts that they bolt onto their car to make it look like a racecar are ridiculous! What's with the huge spoiler? Is there some chance that this 4-banger with 112 horsepower could go fast enough to lift off the ground and therefore the driver requires this extra protection?
These geniuses would probably actually save money if they bought a Camaro or Mustang or something that actually has some horsepower, instead of just putting a big muffler and some chunks of plastic on their Civic.
And the sound! These cars sound like something I might use to trim my lawn. Do they think that people hear the racket coming out of their car and say "Wow, I bet that Toyota Corolla is really fast"? Yeah, and so is my weed-eater.
Care to respond? Do so below:
If you would like to respond, type your response in the box below and then click "Rice Rockets". This is anonymous, so if you want me to write you back, put your email address in the box provided.
I've removed the feedback box from this page, because I've never received as much hate mail on any topic as I have on this one. Some people have such strong emotional ties to their go-carts that their feedback contains mostly four-letter words, and this is hardly the type of thing that I want to post on my website!
"you could quite possibly mow your lawn with about 9/10ths of these rockets. most of them even give you a handle to push them around with. keep in mind rear deck spoilers do SQUAT when they're on a front wheel drive car."
- YES! You are awesome. -
apparently they like to have exhaust pipes you can crawl inside to diagnose engine problems. stickers add 5-10 horses, windshield banners add 15-20, obnoxious body kits, when combined with outrageous paint jobs add about another 20. after all that is done you're looking at a car with maybe 150 horses. a stock ford small block from the 60s runs over 200
horses, STOCK........i am japanese so don't get me wrong...i just have a good head on my shoulders when it comes to horse power and going about it in a sensible way. if you haven't already you should check out www.ricecop.com and see some of the abominations out there. i will admit, there are a FEW ricers who don't go over board with the mods and end up with some clean
lookin' rides. take off that stupid wing, avoid the bargain sticker bin at the local parts shop, get that trash can you call a muffler off of there and you'll have a decent looking ride.
nothing beats the sound of a finely tuned v8 with headers and a nice exhaust. to all my muscle car brothers out there...show them your taillights and don't take
"well you have twice as many cylinders as me..." as an excuse."
- Bravo, my man. -
"rice rockets are all about appearance and not performance. They just wanna look cool."
- I would beg to differ, but I don't feel like begging
today. -
"dude you are gay. it sounds to me like you have gotten your
*** kicked by many a "rice rocket" in your gay days. you **** **** know that an eclipse with 300 horse would kick the
**** out of a camaro or mustang. why cuz they are light and the horsepower to weight ratio is so much better than a camaro or stang.
**** i have nothing wrong with muscle cars. they are fast and fun as **** but there is not as much joy in them as building a
"rice rocket" that you need to work at to get the horses. if you happen to work on you stang or whatever to get 800 horses then
**** thats ****** awsome. cuz thats the same thing us rice boys are doing is making somthing big out of somthing with almost nothing. plus they look better."
- Dude, I am NOT gay. But I'm not even talking to
guys like you. If you actually have an Eclipse with 300 horses, I would be
shocked, but that would be cool! Yeah, it would probably beat a Camaro or
Mustang, but how many people have a 300 hp ricer? For every rice rocket
out there that actually has some speed, there are 50,000 that have a stock
4-banger with 125 horses, a $100 aftermarket muffler, and a sticker that says
"Fast" on it. Those people are the morons. -
"Dood your gay. American cars suck."
- Dood, I am NOT gay. I know American cars suck, I
drive a Maxima! -
"ur a moron cuz not all of them sound like that and some have turbos that will waste a camaro or mustang anyday. there are different types of mufflers and some are fast and not all of them are loud
**** ****"
- I seem to be attracting a much more high-class audience
these days. -
"man your **** **** seriously shut **** **** up you dont know enough about imports to cut them up
**** ****"
- What was I just saying? Uh, what is there to
know? A 2002 Civic EX has 127 horsepower. 99% of rice rocket Civics
out there have a stock engine with a big muffler, and they probably have the
cheaper 115 horsepower version anyway. This does not a fast car make
(Sometimes like Yoda I speak). You could spend an extra 4 grand on your Civic EX
and make it look really neat, but it would still be slow as molasses. Or
you could buy an Altima SE (another import!) and get nearly twice the horsepower, more
than twice the torque, and shave nearly four seconds off your 0-60 time.
FOUR SECONDS! That's an eternity! I like the Civic, it's a fine
car. But it's NOT A RACE CAR! -
"I love muscle car there is nothing like the sound of a v8 roaring down the street. But i also enjoy imports I just got a hold of a vtech civic hatch and it is pretty fast moving. It may not have the sound of an 8 but it can sure give some mustangs a bit of challenge with minor mods. Some guy has all motor civic with spoon parts that car is almost 10 secs at a 1/4 of a mile I think thats amazing for a well tuned regular fuel all motor car. It is true some people have too many body componets with no power that sucks. But a stock looking civic with a well modified engine beating an american car sure is sweet. You can just see the look in their face when they get beat by a 4 cylinder engine. "
- Well, okay. Go in peace. -
"I just love that Le Mans inspired body kit on that blue civic. This car sure as
he** can tangle with the rest of them. The Rest of the Geo Metros that is. I live in SoCal, where you can hear every night the sound of the
'fartcans' here and there. There have not been one case where I lost to a ricer. Not one yet. I am not into only American cars. I like imports as well. The only difference is, that I like Import Sports Cars. Not Import Compacts. My first car was an import. It was an 88 Mitsubishi Starion ESI-R. Very nice car. Flagship of the Mitsu in 88. Now thats a sports car. It had a raceframe, sportsbuckets, Turbo 2.6L 4 Cylinder, 5speed Close Ratio Box, Wide Body... ALL STANDARD. My current ride is a Trans Am. Love the power, and the looks. Currently saving up for another Starion/Conquest(Chrysler counter part). Bottom line is: Civics were built to get you to the places and save you money by conserving gas, running reliably. Not, and I repeat Not, to be raced."
- Here here. A moment of silence, please, for the
loss of the legendary TA, Pontiac's only cool car in the last three decades. -
"yea you probably drive a yugo so...quit hatin grandma"
- I don't even know what that means, but it's funny! -
"what's wrong with putting a little more time and money it to a honda that will spank any mustang or camaro!!!
BRING IT!!!!!!! COLORADO SPRINGS"
- There is nothing "wrong" with it, it's just
dumb. -
"This is one of the coolest web sites I have come across."
- I know. -
"I live in California and rice rockets come a dime a dozen. I drive a 97 WS6 (6 speed manual) and if I had a dollar for every time a freeking honda with ground effects tried to race me I would have a Corvette by now. If you believe the guy that said a freeking Eclipse can take a Trans Am you need to have your head examined."
- I may need to have my head examined, but not for that. -
"You just have to understand that these kids take there moms 97 civic and take it to a four cylinder piece of junk into a major sports car. Its basically kids with barely any money and just enjoying the love to race. These rice rockets are cheap, and have great reputations for dependability. Most people cant afford a 30,000 dollar mustang or camaro. You just have to understand. Nothing bad about camaros and mustangs but they are not known to be able to stand a lot of miles especially if your racing. These hondas and toyotas you can beat them up and they will still last while and you wont have to fill your gas tank as much, there great on gas. But my rant is that people do take it to the extreme. I love a good rice rocket but i look at cars with stickers saying bla bla bla racing and vtec and crap like that to boast about it. Those guys are garbage"
- Hey, do YOU want to write this page? Because, uh,
I think you're right. -